


déjà entendu

by andtheny



Series: Five is a problem solver [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Confused Luther Hargreeves, Family Dynamics, Gen, Luther Hargreeves-centric, Miscommunication, No Apocalypse, Number Five | The Boy-centric, POV Alternating, POV Luther Hargreeves, POV Number Five | The Boy, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andtheny/pseuds/andtheny
Summary: "Diego can run around all he wants," Five said. "Punching robbers and annoying police officers. If you want to join him that's your prerogative, but there is no team.""But-""Team Zero, Umbrella Academy, or whatever the hell you decide to call it," Five plowed on. "The whole thing is a farce, do you hear me?""Why is it a farce?" Luther said. "Why can't we-""We're a family," Five said. "Nothing more. Nothing less. I don't give a fuck if some dumbass wants to rob a bank. I say, let him! It's not my problem. My only concern is This. Family."___________________Or, Luther struggles to find a new purpose in life. Five tries to come up with something.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves
Series: Five is a problem solver [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977970
Comments: 48
Kudos: 250





	1. Don’t you want help?

_The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place._

_― George Bernard Shaw_

It was easy to be happy, when they first got back. 

Everyone was relieved to see the other side of April 1st, 2019. To be home again. 

But then Allison left. 

"I need to see Claire," She'd said. "Just to make sure she's still… I need to see her." 

Luther drove her to the airport himself. He stood and watched her board a plane and imagined running up to join her at the last minute.

Like in one of her movies, Allison would laugh and embrace him. Maybe even… maybe even kiss him. 

That's what would happen if they were in a movie. 

But movies don't pay attention to airport security. 

" _Sir_ , do you have a plane ticket?" The security guard reached for a taser, visibly put off by Luther's height and bulk. "Sir, you need to stay on that side of the line." 

"Um, is it too late to buy one? A ticket?" Luther watched Allison disappear into the long tunnel that led into her plane. 

The man looked from Luther to the plane and back again. "You don't mean for _this_ flight? The one that's already boarding?" 

"Nevermind," Luther said. He could feel the crowd turning towards them now, the way people craned their necks to gawk up at him was uncomfortably familiar. "Um, have a good day." 

The security guard seemed to realize he was holding his taser a little too obviously. He strapped it back onto his belt as Luther stepped back and belatedly responded, "Have a good day, sir." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It wouldn’t be accurate to say things had gone back to normal. How could life be normal, with Dad gone? 

There were no missions, now. 

And there was no impending apocalypse.

More than anything else, Luther found himself missing Mr. Ruby. The routine he’d built up around the man’s business. It had been easy, then. To win fights and act the part of bodyguard and chauffeur. 

What the hell was he supposed to do _now_?

“Alright,” Five said. “This is just odd. You’re not Klaus.” 

Five had teleported into Luther’s room without warning and yanked the curtains open, then stood looming over Luther’s bed with his arms crossed.

Luther rubbed his eyes. “What about Klaus?” 

“It’s past noon,” Five said. “And I know this isn’t your normal sleeping pattern.” 

It wouldn’t be accurate to call what Luther had just been doing “sleep.” He’d been wide awake, but hadn’t really seen the point in getting up. 

Luther sat up to frown at Five. “Does it matter?” 

“Of course it matters,” Five said. “So let’s hear it.” 

“Hear what?” 

Five made a circling motion with his hand. “Just get on with it, tell me what you’re sulking about.” 

Luther stared at him, nonplussed. It wasn’t like Five to engage in “emotional displays” or to ask how someone was feeling. 

“Why are you asking?” Luther said. 

“As I said,” Five huffed. “ _This_ is odd. What are you doing in bed at this time of day? I swear, you’ve been moping about ever since we got back. I’m here to put a stop to it.” 

Awkwardly shuffling off the bed, Luther smiled at Five. “Wow. Um, thank you.” 

Five rolled his eyes. “Don’t thank me. Start talking.” 

Not used to being put on the spot like this, Luther cast about for a way to stall a bit. He went to his closet and pulled out some proper clothes. He’d spent too long in over-sized sweats, hadn’t he? Maybe that was why Five was getting worried. 

“Luther,” Five said, impatient. “I said start talking.” 

“Maybe I should shave?” Luther said, fingering his scruffy chin. “And get dressed? Would that make you feel better?” 

“What?” Five said. “It doesn’t matter how _I_ feel.” 

“But you’re worried that I’m letting myself go, right?” Luther gestured at the clothes in his hands. “Here, let me get dressed.” 

“That would treat the symptoms, not the disease,” Five said. “You have to tell me what the disease is.” 

Luther chuckled nervously. “I’m not sick.” 

“It’s a metaphor, you dolt!” 

The way Five glared up at him, fists clenched at his sides and chin jutting out as he lost his composure, was oddly endearing. Luther was used to seeing Five like this, mean and spiteful, but it was like looking at an angry kitten.

And maybe it was just because Five looked like a little kid. Maybe it was nostalgia; Five was still wearing the Umbrella Academy uniform. He looked just the same as he had back in the good old days. 

Either way, Luther was flooded with a surge of affection. He wondered how Five would react to a hug. But there was no point wondering, was there? Five would just teleport away from it.

“That is an unsettling smile,” Five said. “The hell are you thinking about?” 

“I’m feeling a lot better already,” Luther said. “Thanks for checking up on me.” 

“Uh huh,” Five said. “So you don’t want to talk. Fine, I’ll get out of your hair.” 

“No, I just-”

“No need to sugar coat it.” Five turned away from Luther, adjusting his tie. “Carry on, shave your face. I'll pay you no mind.” 

Before Luther could respond, Five warped out of the room. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was different living with Klaus and Five. Technically he’d lived with them before, but that had been when Dad was alive and the Umbrella Academy was still intact. It had been a full house and though Luther liked both of them well enough, they weren’t the siblings he’d ever _sought out._

That had always been Allison. And Diego had been a big part of his life too, back then, because Diego was always approaching Luther. Even if it was just to pick fights. 

Still, after years alone in the mansion it was really nice to have his brothers back.

Klaus had initiated movie nights. Sometimes, they all ate dinner together. 

But then there were times that Klaus left the house to do god knows what. And Five was usually holed up in his room. 

In the week since Five had bullied him out of bed, Luther had been making an effort to stop sulking. But he still didn’t quite know what to do with himself. 

What did _Five_ do with all this free time? Luther knocked on his door, steeling himself to ask. 

“Fuck off, Klaus!” Five yelled through the door. 

“It’s not Klaus,” Luther said. “It’s me, Luther.” 

He heard a chair scraping against the floor and what might have been the tale tell electric crackle of Five’s teleporting. Then the door was opening and Five smirked up at him. 

“Ready to talk, then?” 

“Yeah?” Luther scratched his chin. “Can I come in?” 

Five graciously opened an arm to gesture into the room. “You can sit on the bed.” 

“Thanks.” Luther glanced around as he sat, noticing the walls of Five’s bedroom were still covered in the scribblings from his last visit. “Hey, do you want help repainting your room?” 

“No thanks,” Five said. “Let’s not get distracted, now.” 

Five turned his chair away from the desk, pointing it toward the bed and sitting with his fingers steepled together in his lap. “Well?” 

“Oh. Right.” Luther scooted forward a little, so that he was perched on the edge of the bed. It was easier to keep his back straight that way. “I wanted to ask you what you’ve been doing.” 

Five raised an eyebrow. “Pardon?” 

“Well, you’re not working right? Not like Vanya and Diego,” Luther said. “I know Klaus isn’t working either, but he has his hobbies. I think he goes out to visit friends and stuff. He’s out right now.” 

“I don’t follow,” Five said. “Just tell me plainly what your problem is so we can work towards a solution.” 

It would sound stupid if he said his problem was boredom, wouldn’t it? Luther could imagine Five spitting out some kind of scathing remark. Like: _What, you want me to entertain you? Get a goddamn hobby. Or a job._

“I don’t have a problem,” Luther said, instead. “I’m just curious about… about you?”

Five glared at him. “You’re lying,” he said. “Look, is it about Allison?” 

Luther winced. “No,” he said, too quickly. “I don’t mind that… I talk to Allison all the time. On the phone.”

All the time was an exaggeration, but they did make the effort to call each other at least twice a week. It was nice. It was enough.

It would have to be enough. 

“You could go to California,” Five said. “She lives alone anyway, doesn’t she? Just ask her if you can move in.” 

“She’s dealing with a lot right now,” Luther said. “That whole custody battle thing. And she has to go to court mandated counseling.”

“So?” Five said. 

“She started filming a new movie.” Luther started to lean forward, momentarily resting his elbows on his knees, but then he wondered how that would look to Five and straightened back up.

He suddenly wished he could just stand and clasp his hands behind his back, like he had done during his debriefs with Dad or Mr. Ruby. 

“So Allison’s filming a movie, she’s going to counseling.” Five ticked the points off on his fingers. “Probably spending a fair amount of time in court or else strategizing with her lawyer. Alright, I guess she wouldn’t be home much. But so what? You’d still see more of her if you were there than if you were here. And what are you doing here that you can’t do there?” 

“It’s not that simple.” 

Five looked annoyed. He always looked sort of annoyed, but now he was rubbing his temples. Like the conversation had given him a headache. “It _is_ that simple.”

“Do you _want_ me to move to California?” Luther said.

If so, it was kind of hurtful. Like Five couldn’t stand him anymore. Like Dad, after the accident. Being sent off to California was nicer than the moon, at least. But it was a pitiful banishment all the same. 

“It doesn’t matter to me where you live,” Five said.

He's speaking carefully, Luther thought. Trying to sound neutral, like he isn't invested in one outcome over the other.

But Five wouldn't insist on it in the first place if he didn't have a stake in it. 

“If it makes things easier for you,” Luther said. “I can ask Allison if she wouldn’t mind letting me stay with her. Until I can find my own place.” 

He still remembered the look on Mr. Ruby’s face after he’d thrown that fight.

And Five’s face, when he’d refused to help him stop the apocalypse. At the time it had been easy to wave away Five’s concerns. How could the world possibly be ending in 1963? If that was true none of them would have had lives in 2019. They wouldn’t have even been born. 

“Get your own place?” Five said. “Why would you do that?” 

“I don’t want to be a burden,” Luther said. “She has to prioritize Claire.” 

“Wait, back up.” Five stood and started pacing. “Why would that make things easier for _me_? Walk me through your train of thought there.” 

“Because you want me to leave?” Luther stood too, but then he sat back down. He didn’t want to crowd Five. 

“I said I don’t care where you live,” Five said, throwing his hands up. “If you aren’t going to live with Allison, what would be the point of leaving?” 

“Diego’s always saying I should’ve left home and made a life for myself,” Luther said. “Isn’t that what you’re getting at? That I should go _do_ something?” 

Maybe I could find another Mr. Ruby to work for, Luther thought. Things are different in 2019, but that line of work is still a thing, isn’t it? 

“We’re rich,” Five said. “We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to.” 

“Well yeah, but-” 

“So you don’t want to live with Allison,” Five said. “You’re fine with the way things are.” 

“I’d rather live here at the Academy,” Luther said. “Unless you have a problem with that.” 

Five put a hand on his chin, like he wanted to stroke a nonexistent beard, and hummed thoughtfully. “You asked me what I’ve been doing. I’m going to turn that question back around. What have _you_ been doing?”

Luther winced. “Well… why do you ask?” 

“Just a thought. Nevermind.” Five looked at his watch. “Vanya will be here soon, so we’ll have to table this for now.” 

“Oh! You guys are training today?” Luther said. "Hey, do you need any help with that?"

“No, I've got a handle on it. See yourself out, won’t you?” Five blinked out of the room. 

“Right,” Luther sighed. “Bye then.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Have you taken a look at your holdings?" Five said.

Quickly swallowing his mouthful of cereal, Luther said, "Holdings?"

"The accounts, the properties, the royalties," Five said. "You know… your _inheritance_?" 

"Oh," Luther said. "Sorry, I haven't really… thought about it." 

Five grinned. "I suspected as much." 

He set a stack of folders and journals down on the table. "Well, the good news is the Academy is already good and paid for. The only concern is property tax and that bill seems to be set up with some sort of computer that just… pays it when it needs to be paid."

"An automatic payment," Luther said. "I've heard of those." 

"Right," Five said. "Most of the mechanisms, money in and out, are automatic. But some of them need a more… human touch." 

"What needs a human touch?" Luther said. "And, wait, how are we dividing it? Is there a check or something everyone was supposed to get?" 

"Dividing it?" Five said. "We're not dividing anything." 

"We're not?" 

Five tapped at his chin. "Well, I suppose you can, if you'd like. But you'd need to liquidate the properties first." 

"Liquidate?" 

"Sell them." 

"What properties exactly?" Luther picked up a folder and opened it, as if it would have the answers. But trying to read the papers inside felt like opening a book in the middle: he was missing a lot of context. "Why do we need to sell them to split them?" 

"Maybe I should have led with this," Five said. " _You_ would need to sell them. Or not sell them. The entire Hargreeves fortune, all its assets, are owned by you and you alone." 

Luther stared at him. 

"Just me?" Luther said. "Why just me?" 

"I thought that would be obvious," Five said. "You're Number One. And the only one of us who remained loyal until the old man's bitter end." 

If Luther hadn't already been sitting, he would have sat down. As it was, he felt out of place sitting at the breakfast table with a spoon in one hand and a random folder in the other.

His cereal looked sad and soggy, the other folders and journals: intimidating. 

Luther stood up. "We should have a family meeting." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"You can keep his goddamn blood money," Diego spat. "I don't want a cent!" 

"I'll gladly take Diego's half," Klaus said. "Along with mine, of course." 

"None of you _have_ a half to take," Five said. "Luther's the only heir."

Allison's voice felt small and airy from the laptop speakers. As if she were trying to speak from the far end of a tunnel. "We all know Luther is more than happy to share." 

"Why would _you_ need any money." Diego was glaring at her grainy image on the screen. "You're already rich." 

"You're right," Allison said, glaring right back. "Guess I'll give my half to Vanya then?" 

Vanya jolted, startled to be roped into the argument. "Oh no," she said. "That's okay. I don't need anyone's half." 

"The whole fortune is blood money," Diego snapped. "He worked with the Majestic 12. Who knows what kind of shady businesses he was operating?" 

"Right," Five said, rifling through one of Dad’s journals. "Here we’ve got solid evidence that he nefariously flipped houses. The horrors of capitalism at work." 

"Uh guys?" Luther wished he had that whistle Dad had always used to settle everyone down. "I think the main thing-" 

"It's not like he'd keep a record of his crimes," Diego growled. "You wouldn't find it with his-"

"At the end of the day, money is money," Klaus said. "It's fine if you don't want it, Diego, but the rest of us-"

"Everybody shut up," Five said. "Luther's trying to say something." 

Luther smiled at him, touched by the intervention. "Thanks Five." 

"Go on then," Five said. 

Everyone looked at Luther expectantly. 

"Right. Um." 

Never being one for patience, Klaus broke in before Luther could get his thoughts in order, "Can I have _Ben's_ half?" 

Five and Diego both smacked him: Five upside his head and Diego on his shoulder. 

Klaus whined like a wounded cat and Luther sighed. 

"No, Klaus," Luther said. "Just… no." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Eventually, it was agreed that they should sell all of Dad's properties. Allison recommended he hire a broker to put everything on the market, so Luther did. 

At the time, he didn’t realize how complicated the whole process would turn out to be.

“Why don’t you just sell to the first bidder?” Klaus said. 

It had been a few weeks since their family meeting. Klaus was annoyed with the lack of results.

“Mr. Claremont says it’s a bad idea to do that,” Luther said. 

Mr. Claremont was the broker. 

“He’s just trying to wrangle a bigger paycheck for himself,” Five said. “Don’t let him drag his feet.” 

The three of them were eating dinner together. It was something Klaus tried to get them to do every day, though Five often ignored him and ate in his room.

“But doesn’t he get paid the same amount no matter how long it takes?” Luther said. “He’s not being paid an hourly wage.” 

Today they were eating a macaroni potato salad. It was one of those new dishes Mom had been experimenting with. 

“No, he’s working for a commission,” Five said. “Which means he wants to hold out for the best deal possible. Because the more you get for a property the more _he_ gets.” 

On a whim, Luther had brought crackers with him to the table. He liked dipping them into the salad. Though, more often than not, they would break before he could get a scoop of macaroni and cracker into his mouth.

“That’s good and all,” Klaus said. “But can’t he hurry up? I need _money_.” 

The result was broken crackers sprinkled all over his macaroni potato salad, but Luther liked the added texture. And he could scoop everything up with a spoon anyway.

“No you don’t,” Five said. “You’re already using Luther’s card however you like.” 

Luther looked up at Klaus. “You took my card?” 

“You lent it to me.” Klaus gave him one of those guileless smiles. “So I could go shopping with Five, remember?” 

Luther glanced from Klaus to Five, uncertain. 

Five rolled his eyes. “I did not go shopping with you.” 

“Well, we can fix that,” Klaus said. “Let’s do that for our next bro date!” 

The whole bro date thing reminded Luther of those times everyone had snuck out to Griddy’s Doughnuts without him. They’d said he couldn’t be trusted not to tattle tell. 

“What, so I can be your pack mule?” Five said. “I don’t think so.” 

“Aren’t you tired of the uniform?” Klaus said. “You’d look so good in-”

“If you valued your life,” Five growled. “You’d stop throwing clothes at me.” 

“Hey, I was thinking,” Luther said. “You know how there’s that plaza? The one with the laundromat and the Chinese restaurant and stuff?” 

Klaus was easy to distract. “Oooh, is that the same plaza where that badass hairdresser works?” 

“Yeah, the same one.” Luther took a deep breath and looked at Five. “I was thinking of maybe selling the lots to the business owners. But Mr. Claremont thinks it’s a bad idea because none of them could afford it.” 

Five snorted. “Of course he thinks that. Obviously, you’d just have to lower the asking price so that they could.” 

Emboldened, Luther grinned at him. “Yeah, that’s what I was saying. To Mr. Claremont. Because, I mean, isn’t it the right thing to do? Those guys are doing all the work anyway. Shouldn’t they be able to own their own business? Without needing to pay rent to be there and all?” 

Klaus dramatically raised his cup of apple juice. “Here here!” he cried. “I bet Dad would _love_ that!”

Luther winced. “He probably wouldn’t care… I mean, he would, but-” 

“It doesn’t matter what he would think,” Five said. “You know what _I_ think? It’s a good idea.” 

Luther stirred his macaroni potato salad for something to do. “It _is_ right?”

“Yeah,” Five said. “And it’s an easy way to get rid of that damn plaza.” 

Klaus hooted. “So we can get our monies! Woo!” 

With that settled, Luther scooped a big spoonful of salad into his mouth. Hungrier, for some reason, than he’d just been a moment ago. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The first time he saw Five without the uniform, Luther did a double take. 

Five was wearing a gray and black plaid button up with black slacks.

He looked like he was in a good mood too. He was helping Mom put away groceries. 

"Such a handsome young man," Mom was saying. "Growing up so fast." 

Five snorted. "I'm going to delete your compliments algorithm if you keep it up." 

She giggled and pinched his cheek. Luther watched from the doorway, frozen, wondering if Five had spotted him yet. 

"You going to make yourself useful, or just stand there?" Five called. 

Luther startled. "Oh! Uh. You guys need help?"

"There's more groceries in the car," Five said. "Go get them, won't you?" 

When Five gave orders like that, Luther was tempted to reply with _yes, sir_. 

Instead he said, "Sure." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sometimes Five still wore the uniform shorts, or the blazer, but he never wore the whole set together anymore. Luther wondered if this meant that Klaus had finally succeeded. They must have gone shopping. 

But then he realized there was something familiar about Five's new clothes. 

"You know, I steal from Allison's closet all the time." Klaus was standing outside Five's bedroom, seemingly talking at the door. 

"She's got such sparkly clothes," Klaus continued. "But Vanya? Her stuff is… well, the opposite of sparkly." 

Vanya favored gender neutral button ups and jackets, Luther realized. And Five had been wearing the same. 

"Or what about _my_ clothes?" Klaus said. "Hell, one of my crop tops would fit you like a regular t-shirt!" 

"I wouldn't touch your clothes with a ten foot pole," Five called through the door. "Let alone _wear_ them." 

Luther frowned at Klaus as he walked past. Were they really having a conversation through the door like this? 

Should he intervene? 

Klaus winked at him. "Just humor me a little. Let's have a little fashion show! You look great in anything, but you'll look _amazing_ when I'm done with you." 

"Fuck off!"

On an impulse, Luther picked Klaus up. 

"What the, hey! Luuuther!" 

Despite his shouting, Klaus was a compliant passenger. He let Luther drape him over a shoulder. 

"Where are we going?!" Klaus whined. "Luuuuuther." 

"Let's watch a movie," Luther said. 

Klaus laughed. " _Fine._ " 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Something was wrong with Mom. 

She was standing directly in front of the TV, perfectly still, repeating the dialogue from the movie that was playing. Well, she wasn’t exactly repeating the dialogue. She spoke it _with_ the characters. Completely in sync. She must have memorized it ahead of time?

“She’s been like this for twenty minutes,” Klaus said. “Or, I’ve been watching for twenty minutes. I don’t know when she started.” 

Mom kept talking along with the movie. Only pausing when the characters were quiet.

Luther put a hand on her shoulder. “Mom? You shouldn’t stand so close to the screen.” 

“Do you want to be my friend?” Mom said with the robotic girl on screen. “Of course,” she said with the young man. 

“What movie is this?” Luther said.

“ _Ex Machina_ ,” Klaus said. “I showed it to her last week.” 

“Our conversations are one-sided,” Mom said. “You ask circumspect questions and study my responses.” 

Luther switched the TV off, but Mom continued with the dialogue anyway. “So what? You want me to talk about myself?” 

“Has she ever done this before?” Luther said. 

“I don’t think so,” Klaus said. “I tried getting in her face, hugging her, slapping her-”

“You _slapped_ her?!”

“She’s being weird!” 

“But you don’t just slap people when they’re being weird,” Luther protested. “You should…”

Klaus put his hands on his hips. “I should what? Huh? What’s your solution?” 

Luther studied Mom’s vacant smile. “Let’s take her to her charging station?” 

“Oh suuuure,” Klaus said. “There’s nothing wrong with Mom, she’s just out of juice!” 

With a flash of blue, Five materialized behind them. “I heard yelling.” 

“Luther broke Mom!” Klaus announced.

“What? I didn’t-”

“He’s the one who found her like this,” Klaus blatantly lied. “And he slapped her.” 

“ _You’re_ the one who-”

“Everybody shut up,” Five snapped. He studied Mom. “The hell is she saying?” 

“The lines from _Ex Machina_ ,” Klaus said. “Luther, what were you thinking? Showing her such an emotional robot movie.” He shook his head. “Tsk, tsk.” 

“But _you_ -” 

“I don’t care whose fault it is,” Five said. “Luther, pick her up and follow me.” 

Luther did as he was told and they all followed Five out of the living room. “I was telling Klaus we should take her to her charging station.” 

Five shook her head. “That won’t help.” 

“Pogo would’ve known how to fix her,” Klaus said. “I saw him fiddling around inside her once. Had her whole torso open and was elbow deep in her guts!” 

“Pogo isn’t here,” Five said. “Unless you plan on summoning his ghost, shut up and let me think. I have a vague understanding of her programming.” 

He led them into the med room and directed Luther towards one of the gurneys. 

“There’s nothing here that can help her,” Luther said, still holding her tight. “Wouldn’t her charging station-”

“We just need a place to lay her down for now,” Five said. “Well? Put her on a gurney.” 

Luther hesitated. He looked at Mom and wished he could ask her for an opinion. She’d know best what she would need. Wouldn’t she?

“Caleb, you’re wrong,” Mom said. “Wrong about what?” 

She continued speaking both parts of an unfamiliar conversation and Luther sighed. 

He put her on a gurney and she just smiled up at him. As content to be there as anywhere else. 

“Good,” Five said. “Now get out. Both of you.”

Klaus saluted and left with a cheery “Good luck!” tossed over his shoulder. 

“Don’t you want help?” Luther said. “I could-”

“Do you know anything about robotics?” Five said. 

“No, but I could still be, like, an assistant?” 

“You’d just be a distraction.” 

“But-”

“Luther.” In that moment, Five did not look like the kid from their childhood. He looked like the old man that he was, despite his face. Weary with the weight of years and responsibilities that Luther couldn’t even imagine. “The priority is Mom’s wellbeing. If I need your help, I will ask. Alright?”

“Okay,” Luther said. “Alright.” 

So he left Five to do… whatever he was going to do. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Three days later, Mom was back to normal. She cooked and cleaned and chatted like she always had before. She worked on her cross stitching and even dabbled in painting. 

When she asked to watch a movie, Luther didn’t want to allow it. 

“Movies aren’t harmful,” Five said. “That incident had little to do with the movie itself. It was just a… a thing that she latched onto. It could have been anything. A song. A phone call.” 

“Are you _sure_?

Five rolled his eyes. “As sure as one can be about anything else.” 

Luther scratched his chin. “So… is that a no?” 

Five fiddled with his tie. “Fine. Don’t let her watch movies. Whatever you think is best.” 

Luther stared at him. It had always been gratifying to hear Five say things like that. Though he would speak sarcastically, Five had a way of being deferential. Of acknowledging that Luther was the leader. Though they would disagree on a lot of points, that had never been one of them. 

But why was he still the leader? Because Dad said so when they were kids?

"You should be Number One," Luther said. 

"What?"

"You should be Number One," Luther repeated. 

Five rolled his eyes. "Uh huh. Because I fixed Mom? Don't be absurd."

"Because you're a good leader, Five." Luther tried to school his expression into something that was both earnest and yet, professional. "I think it's in the best interest of the team-"

"When will you get it through your thick skull?" Five said. "The numbers are arbitrary."

"I know, but I still think it would be better for the team if-"

"Let me try to phrase this in a way that even _you_ can understand," Five said. "Luther, the Umbrella Academy is dead." 

Luther frowned. 

"Diego can run around all he wants," Five continued. "Punching robbers and annoying police officers. If you want to join him that's your prerogative, but there is no _team_." 

"But-"

"Team Zero, Umbrella Academy, or whatever the hell you decide to call it," Five plowed on. "The whole thing is a farce, do you hear me?" 

"Why is it a farce?" Luther said. "Why can't we-" 

"We're a _family,_ " Five said. "Nothing more. Nothing less." 

Luther blinked. 

"I don't give a fuck if some dumbass wants to rob a bank," Five said. "I say, let him! It's not my problem. My only concern is _this. Family._ " 

You'd be a better father than Dad could ever hope to be, Luther thought. 

"That's what I'm saying!" Luther said. 

"No, you're not," Five said. "You're still stuck in the same old framework. 'You should be Number One.' Cut the crap." 

"But-" 

"I'll never be Number One," Five said. "I'm Number Five. I do my own work and I do it well. _You_ be Number One. Figure out what that means to you, give yourself… I don't know. Your own tasks." 

Luther rubbed at his forehead. "I wish I knew how to… talk. Like you do." 

"We can't all have my stellar vocabulary." 

"No, I'm not explaining it right," Luther said. "I think you misunderstood me." 

"Then rephrase." Five crossed his arms in front of him. 

Rephrase? Luther mentally scrambled for the right words as Five glared at him. 

Five started tapping his foot impatiently. "Well?" 

"You're probably right…" Luther spoke slowly, trying to buy time as he thought. "About my… what did you call it? My framework?" 

"Of course I'm right." 

"But I still think you…" Luther took a deep breath. Why was explaining this so hard? "You just…" 

"Spit it out!" 

"Ever since we got back from the sixties," Luther tried to talk faster now, worried Five might just teleport away. "Actually, no, ever since you first showed up here for Dad's funeral. You've been doing all these things that I didn't notice, at first." 

"Things," Five echoed. "Uh huh." 

"Things for the family," Luther said. "You saved us. And now you're still doing things. Like helping Vanya control her powers and-"

"Alright," Five said. "I get it." 

"You do?" 

"We were raised in a competitive environment." Five sounded sympathetic. "It's instinct, at this point, for you to compare your… progress. Compare it against mine and wonder if you deserve your," Here he paused and his lips curled derisively. "Your rank." 

"I didn't mean-" 

"Luther, Luther, Luther." Five slowly shook his head and patted at Luther's elbow. "You have to understand, I have years of experience under my belt. I'm twice your age." 

"I know that," Luther said. "Five, I'm not comparing." 

"So then what's this nonsense about me being Number One?" Five said. "If not some kind of… of inferiority complex?"

"I'm saying you should be the head of the household," Luther said. "The family leader." 

Five snorted. "We don't need a leader." 

"Don't we?" Luther said. "You just said you have more experience. That's what I mean. That's why I think you should be the… like, in charge." 

"In charge of _what_?" Five said. "I'm not going to send you out on missions-"

"You've already been doing it!" Luther insisted. “I’m not talking about missions. You're the one who figured out our finances. The one who helps Vanya with her powers and takes Klaus to NA. And I know you're doing other stuff too. You're always doing something. I just… it finally hit me. That I've never been a leader at all." 

"Luther-"

"Let me finish," Luther said. "Please." 

Five huffed, but he leaned back against the wall and waited. 

"Me being the leader was always a sham title. Dad was the real leader. I was more like a lieutenant. And I miss that. I was good at that.” 

“What’s your point?” Five said.

“I just wish you would let me help you,” Luther said. “If you could tell me what to do, I know I could be useful.” 

"Fine," Five said. "You want something to do? Go find Klaus. Mom wants to watch a movie and he’ll make a scene if you don’t invite him." 

“Uh, that’s not exactly what I had in mind.”

“Tough.”

Before Luther could argue Five was gone, blinking out of the room like he often did. 

But that was alright. He’d gotten his point across. Five just needed to warm up to the idea.

And Luther would be ready to help when the time came.


	2. Kind words and respect

_ You know there's no such thing as a complete lie. There's always some truth in there. _

_ ― David Levithan _

"He was being ridiculous." Five was pacing around his room. "You know, I'm not one to dwell, but-"

 _You're not one to dwell_? Dolores scoffed. _Sure, and I'm a great dancer._

He laughed. 

_He's beginning to treat you like a father figure_ , she added. 

"I know. It's ridiculous." Five lightly slapped at his cheeks. "I don't even have facial hair!" 

_It's not ridiculous._ _The role suites you._

"First of all, we're _brothers_ ," Five said. "So, yes, it's ridiculous. Secondly, I don't have the… I'm not…" 

_You're not what?_ Dolores said. _Supportive? Affectionate?_

Five groaned. 

_You act like affection can be delegated_ , Dolores said. _Just assign the task to Allison, right? Like it's beneath you._

"It's not beneath me," Five said. "If anything it's _above_ me." 

_Nothing's above you._

"Look, I do my best, alright?" Five said. "And I tried to tell him… I tried. Grant me that, at least." 

_I know you did_. _That's what's so sad._

Five rolled his eyes. "He should know by now that I'm not… I'm not someone he should seek assurances from. Let alone leadership." 

_But he was right_ , Dolores said. _You're the head of the household in all but name._

"I didn't want to be," Five said. 

_Yet here you are_ , Dolores said. _You'll have to accept it._

"Fine," Five said. "I accept it. Happy?" 

_No_.

"Of course not." Five made a point of uncapping his marker, turning away from her and towards the wall. "Anyway, I have work to do." 

Luther and Klaus had helped him repaint the walls into a giant dry erase board. It had been Ben's idea. A brilliant one. 

Dolores allowed him to work in peace for about an hour. Then she started again. 

_Luther was so happy when you let him paint in here._

"I thanked him," Five muttered. "I did exactly what I was supposed to do and he acted like… like something was wrong with me." 

_It's the way you were raised,_ Dolores said. _Kind words, gratitude, respect. These things were not the norm._

"They still aren't." 

_But you can change that._

Five just shook his head. "If he were more comfortable with his body, he would go out into the world. Meet better people." 

_Emotionally healthy people?_

"Sure. Or Allison." 

_You still want him to go to California?_

"I'd rather drag her and her stupid family over here," Five snapped. "But that's not an option." 

_Five, look at me._

He stiffened, still facing the wall, and closed his eyes instead. 

_Five._

"I don't want to hear it." 

Silence. 

Five cleared his throat. "I'll fix his body. That'll solve everything." 

Dolores did not respond. With a sigh Five turned around and looked at her. She was sitting backwards on his desk chair, glaring at him through the bars on the chair back like some kind of prisoner. 

He gulped. 

_You think I'd be happier if I had legs?_

"Of course you would," Five said. "I can do that too." 

_And then prop me up against the wall?_

Five frowned. 

_Did you even ask Luther? Are you sure a new body is what he needs?_

"I don't have to ask," Five said. "It's his _old_ body. His real one. The right one." 

Dolores sighed. _You men and your solutions._

Five pursed his lips. "Should I make you a robot body? I could model it after my mother's." 

That stunned her into silence and Five grinned. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Five warped himself onto the couch, seating himself a bit closer to Luther than he had planned, but he went with it as if it were intentional, leaning into Luther’s space. “I need you to keep your Mondays clear.”

For his part Luther barely flinched. “Mondays? Yeah, sure. Uh, what for?” 

Luther lifted his arm so that it was resting on the back of the couch. He gave Five more room this way and Five smiled, leaning back now. “I need to run some tests.” 

“What kind of tests?” 

_My therapist says straightforward communication is the best way to go._ Vanya’s needling advice was starting to get to him.

“Tests on you,” Five said. 

Luther shifted in his seat, turning to face Five more directly. “Why?” 

Dolores wanted him to ask Luther if he _wanted_ his old body back. But asking would prompt the assumption that the endeavor was even possible. 

What if it wasn’t? 

“I’m curious about your body’s… changes,” Five said. “I want to see how it affected your power.” 

“Oh.” Luther’s embarrassed smile set Five on edge. It was one of those polite smiles. Performative. “I’m still strong. The same as before, I think.” 

“I’d still like to collect some data,” Five said. “For a direct comparison.” 

Now Luther's smile had softened. He chuckled lightly and Five tilted his head, considering. “I thought about what you said,” Five added. “About being… a leader.” 

_Straightforward communication, Five. Straightforward._ Vanya’s voice echoed in his ears: accusatory. 

“That’s great, Five,” Luther said. “Though I was… I mean, I wanted to help with-”

“Information is important,” Five said. “Like what I do with Vanya. It’s not just about teaching her self control. It's about… taking stock of her assets." 

Luther took a moment to process this, brow furrowing. 

Five waited patiently. 

"Like how Dad would want us to practice?" Luther said. "So that we wouldn't get rusty." 

Five winced. "Not quite." 

"Then-"

"It's not like I want you to be battle ready." Five had the distinct feeling that he'd shot himself in the foot. "Granted, I do have a few…" 

A few concerns, he'd almost said.

Like a bloodhound on the hunt, Luther latched onto the unspoken sentiment; determined to suss it out. 

"What's this really about?" Luther said. "There's something you're leaving out." 

Five regarded his brother carefully. 

Then he glanced around, as if he were worried about being overheard, and made a show of lowering his voice. "I'm worried about the Commission." 

That did it. Luther put on his Serious Face and straightened up. “What about the Commission?” 

He'd lowered his voice to match Five's volume. 

"We left them with a power vacuum," Five said. "And on relatively friendly terms, but the nature of their work is a bit…" 

"A bit what?" Luther was on the edge of his seat. 

"It's unpredictable," Five sighed. "I never learned _why_ the board believed the Apocalypse was supposed to happen. It was classified and now they're dead. But…" 

"You think the new bosses might try again?" Luther said. "You think they'll change their minds about letting us go?" 

"It's unlikely," Five said. "But their organization exists outside time. They could spend hundreds of years pursuing loftier goals. They could go through a whole phase of altruism and, hell, try to kill Hitler or something. But sooner or later…" 

"Someone will decide the world has to end?" 

"Exactly," Five said. "They'll run the numbers in the same way the original board did. And maybe 2019 is the year it has to happen? I don't know." 

Luther stood and strode toward the nearest window, peeking out as if he'd find a squadron of assassins loitering across the street. "So they could show up at any second?" 

"Sit down, for christ's sake," Five said. "See, this is why I didn't want to mention it." 

Now Luther adopted a stern tone. "This is exactly the kind of thing you're supposed to mention! The world is in _danger_." 

Five bristled reflexively, but reminded himself that he liked Luther better this way. Gone was the eager subservience that he’d begun to direct towards Five. In its place was the guy Five had grown up with. Argued with. Competed with. 

"It's been over four months,” Five said, calmly. “Every day we get further from April 1st the probability goes down-" 

"But this is why the world needs us," Luther insisted. "To protect people from-" 

"Oh _sure_ ," Five spat. "Because we did such a great job last time." 

Luther glared at him. “We saved the world, Five.” 

“No, we didn’t,” Five said. “We ran around like headless chickens and barely managed to avoid blowing up the planet _ourselves._ Don’t you get it? We survived by the skin of our teeth!”

“But if we hadn’t-”

“If the old man had left well enough alone,” Five continued. “If he’d never adopted us in the first place, I imagine there’d have been no danger to begin with. Vanya would have grown up in a normal family and she’d-”

“She would still have an explosive ability,” Luther argued. “And anything could have set her off!”

“Well, it doesn’t matter now,” Five growled. “What’s done is done. All we can do is try to live peaceably-” 

“But the Commission-” 

“Forget about the Commission,” Five said. “There’s nothing you can do about them.” 

Jaw clenching, Luther shook his head. “I don’t believe you.” 

Five threw his hands up. "Fine! Like I give a damn!" 

He was tempted to cut the conversation short in his typical fashion, but didn't want to leave empty handed. "So can I run those tests or not?" 

Luther blinked. "What tests?" 

"We're going in circles," Five sighed. "Tests on you, _I said_. I need you on Mondays, remember?" 

"You were serious about that?"

"When am I not serious?" 

"But what does my… what does that have to do with the Commission?" 

Five pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to think of a way to frame things that would ensure Luther's cooperation.

 _Straightforward communication_. 

"Fucking Vanya," Five muttered. 

"What about Vanya?" 

"Nothing, she just…" Five smiled, a new strategy coming to him as he spoke. "Well, like I said, I've been working with her. Because I want her to be able to wield her power when necessary."

Luther was losing patience. "So which is it? Do you think we should prepare for a fight or do you think we should do nothing? The Commission-"

"Alright, we should prepare for a fight," Five allowed himself to sound begrudging "But we need to be _smart_ about it." 

"We need to tell the others," Luther said. "Set up a family meet-" 

Five warped closer, so that he was practically in Luther's lap, and clapped a hand over the big idiot's mouth. "That's exactly what we _shouldn't_ do!" 

Luther just sat there. He looked annoyed, but he didn't try to remove Five's hand. 

" _Listen_ to me, you big oaf," Five said. "The last thing we need is to whip everyone up into a panic." 

Five teleported back to the other side of the couch and continued. "You wanted to help me, didn't you? This is exactly why I hesitated. I knew you couldn't be trusted with sensitive information." 

"Are you done?" Luther said. 

Five nodded cordially. 

"Look, I think keeping things to yourself is a bad thing," Luther said. "It's bad for the te- for the family." 

"I told you in the end, didn't I?" 

"You should have told me earlier." 

"Better late than never." 

"Five." Luther sounded exasperated. "Don't you ever get tired of trying to handle everything yourself?" 

"Yes," Five admitted. 

"But I could… what?" 

"I said yes," Five repeated. "I'm agreeing with you." 

"Oh." By losing his opposition, it seemed Luther also lost his momentum. "Um." 

"I still think we should keep this concern to ourselves," Five added. "It would only disrupt the peace unnecessarily." 

"I think that's a bad call," Luther said. "But fine." 

"Fine?" 

"Yeah. Fine. I won't tell anyone." 

Five regarded him suspiciously. "Why?" 

"I wanted you to be in charge," Luther said. "It would be hypocritical of me to say all that and then ignore your authority." 

Five pursed his lips. 

Luther continued. "But if I see any sign of those assassins I'm blowing the whistle immediately." 

Five nodded. "As you should." 

Nodding back, Luther shifted in his seat. "Uh, so what kind of tests did you want to do?" 

_Got him_ , Five thought. _Finally._

"Don't worry about that yet," Five said. "We'll start next Monday." 

"But that's a whole week-"

Done with the conversation, Five warped back to his room. He wanted to re-read Reginald's notes on Luther's abilities.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He should have known Luther would get impatient. 

"It's Thursday," Five said. 

"I know, but-"

"I said I needed you on _Mondays,_ " Five said. 

"I know, but I had an idea," Luther said. "I didn't want to bring it up at dinner because of Klaus." 

Giving up, Five stepped back to let Luther into his room. 

Like a child with a good report card, Luther was eager to share his findings. "So, I realized we still have that briefcase. Right? The one they lent us?" 

"I have it." 

“Great. What if we-”

“No.” 

Luther frowned. “You didn’t even hear my idea.” 

“I don’t need to hear it to know it’s stupid,” Five said. 

“But we could take the fight to them,” Luther insisted. “Prevent them from-”

“The briefcase is an instrument of traveling within the timeline,” Five said. “It can’t be used to get to them. Their office exists outside time.”

This was a blatant lie. The place, last he’d seen it, was housed in a nondescript office building in 1955. It wasn’t actually possible to exist _outside_ time. Not in a literal sense. 

Still, Luther deflated. “Okay… but what if they come looking for their briefcase? We could try to booby trap it-”

“They won’t,” Five said. “Are you done yet? I’m kind of busy.” 

He’d taken pains to deactivate the briefcase’s tracking device as soon as they’d returned to 2019. It was still true that their family wasn’t exactly hard to find, the Academy was infamous, but Five suspected the Commission would have had their hands full re-establishing their company, recruiting new field agents, and fighting amongst themselves. By the time they reached stability one missing briefcase would be long forgotten. 

“How do you know they won’t?” Luther said. “You should still prepare for the possibility-”

“Luther, I get where you’re coming from,” Five said. “But I’m 10 steps ahead of you. I already considered every conceivable possibility and prepared accordingly. Okay? So let it go.”

“Then where’s the briefcase now?” 

“You don’t need to know.” 

At first he’d kept it in Reginald’s safe, but then he’d realized that spot was too obvious. Also, Five preferred having the briefcase close to hand in case of emergencies. 

Now it was hidden in an alcove in the ceiling, which only Five could reach. 

“I thought we agreed you’d be more open," Luther said. “That you wouldn’t keep things to yourself anymore?” 

“I don’t remember agreeing to that.” 

_"Five."_

Rolling his eyes, Five teleported into the hiding space to retrieve the briefcase. He returned to his room and held it aloft for Luther to see. "I stashed it in the wall, alright? Are you happy now?" 

Luther considered him. " _In_ the wall?" 

"In the wall." 

"Where exactly?" 

It was in the sloping part of the ceiling that hung low over the room, but he figured Luther didn't need that detail. Five pointed vaguely and then warped to put the briefcase back where it belonged. 

"So you're _in_ the wall right now?" Luther's voice was barely muffled through the plaster, but he raised it as if he were trying to shout over a distance. "Five?" 

It was tempting to just leave. Teleport out of the house. 

_My therapist thinks you have an avoidant personality._ Vanya had said, just the other day. _And your power enables it._

One of these days he'd have a talk with that damn therapist. 

"Five?" Luther called. "Did you leave?" 

He warped back into the room. "Listen," he said. "Do you want to learn robotics?" 

Luther crossed his arms in front of his chest. "We were talking about the Commission." 

Five waved this off. "I know, but I'm not worried about them right now. I'm studying Mom's programming." 

After all, it _was_ Thursday.

"You're not worried about them?" Luther sounded skeptical. 

"Fine, I'm a _little_ worried about them," Five amended. "But I meant it when I said there's nothing we can do." 

"There has to be something," Luther said. "We can't just-"

"If the government was given proof positive that, say, aliens exist and walk among us do you think they'd shut down schools and hospitals and redirect all funds towards- what- arming the human race for an intergalactic war?" 

_"What?"_

"Bear with me," Five said. "Seriously, think about it. You're the president. Aliens are here. Are you going to shut everything down because the aliens _might_ be hostile?" 

Luther sighed and ran a rand through his hair. "Well, I wouldn't want to ignore the aliens. Because they could be dangerous." 

"You're right," Five said. "But people are still getting sick and injured. They need the hospital to keep running regardless. And they need the grocery store to stay open, etcetera etcetera. You can't ignore those things just because aliens are here." 

"So you're treating the Commission like aliens," Luther said. "And Mom is the hospital?" 

Five nodded. "The aliens aren't attacking. They just exist, and it's alarming, but inaction is better than action sometimes." 

"How is inaction better?" 

"How do you think the aliens would react if we shoved guns in their faces?" 

Five could see Luther losing patience with the metaphor "They're hit men. They're already waving guns around."

"Eh. Maybe it's a poor comparison." Five shrugged. "Look, you can do what you want. You know what _I'll_ be doing." 

He watched Luther grapple between his hero complex and his need to please. 

The guy really was an open book. 

"Mom is important," Luther finally said. "Not just because we love her, but because she's always been the team's pseudo hospital." 

"Right." 

"Is she still glitching?" 

"Not lately," Five said. "But there's still a lot I don't know about her." 

Luther clasped his hands together behind his back, but then he softened his stance and let his arms hang at his sides. He cleared his throat. "Well, I'd like to learn what I can," he finally said. "If you don't mind teaching me." 

He hadn't actually expected Luther to take him up on this offer. He glanced at Dolores, who'd been decidedly silent from her perch on the bed. 

_Kind words and respect, Five,_ she murmured. _It's not that hard._

"Uh, I'm… glad you're..." Five fumbled for a way to express the sentiment. "It's… that's good." 

"I can help next time," Luther said. "If Mom has any problems in the future?" 

"Yeah, that's the idea." 

"Good." Luther seemed just as uncomfortable with the turn this conversation had taken. "Thanks?" 

"For god's sake, let's just get to work already." 

Luther laughed. "Sounds good." 


End file.
